Days I am going to miss

Which narrow street could keep afloat the heaviness of a shadow that belongs to no one anymore?

The air sits too still tonight

.

Impossible to hide the stains

my leaden steps leave

on the bright 

harvest moon stream

.

Which narrow street

could keep afloat

the heaviness of a shadow

that belongs to no one

anymore?

.

A shell containing a cloud

A cloud containing fractions of you

A cloud

                        still

                                    in the making

.

As you

administer your pain to me

Intravenously

.

Drop by drop 

.

It sinks within me 

.

Just like you did

Word after word

Thought after thought

Sleepless night through sleepless crack

of dawn

.

It piles

.

A purple much too dark

Spreading, eating my cells

one by one

making room for more

dark-

-ness to set in.

.

Darkness I never asked for 

Darkness for which I had no space

.

I’m overflowed. A paralysed witness, I see

.

my light

my joy

my everything bright

and all that had invited you in

                                                subside

.

I see 

            y o u

confused by the reflection of your own pain

disappearing the opposite way

.

leaving me with the remnants 

of your emotional waste

and the leftover memories

of luminous days

.

Days without you

Days before you

Days 

I am going 

                                     to miss.

.

.

© Maria Kouvarou (m.ouv), September 2021 [written between Olomouc and Öschberghof]

Photo by Pawel Czerwinski on Unsplash